I’m opening a new folder under the name “Thoughts” with fun things.
I have been planning to write about human feelings about life, not just cliché fashion advice posts and outfits. I love photography and fashion and I will teach & preach about them as much as I can but my life includes more people than the ones you can see and sometimes the unseen ones are more exciting. Or what they say is more exciting than what they wear.
A bunch of girls sitting at a table covered in all the Christmas sh*t you can imagine. The beginning of December with Mariah Carey on the playlist already…
Anyways, a Sex and The City scene is nothing compared to the scene with those girls by the table and what can girls talk about when they are a bit tipsy and hungry (hangry…)? Guys, relationships, love and stuff like that of course because one of them accidentally said that she is “Technically single”. Girls simply forget about shoes, shopping, spending money, eating as much sweets and cakes as possible, those are unimportant in life when you had a glass of wine already. There are more members of this conversation, interestingly from the other sex as well, who probably had no idea how to respond, firstly because they were sitting by another table, secondly because they listened carefully to learn what they did not know about what they do and how we, girls translate their actions.
Those girls had different views because they were in a relationship, dating, on a break, single and “lovin’ life” or just had no idea what to do but still together with a guy who they will never ever marry or love again. I didn’t expect everyone to have an opinion as they all jumped to speak at once. It was loud already but after the “sentence” was heard there was an avalanche… It went down quickly with so much laughter and the best possible answers ever. So here it is what we said and what I think:
It doesn’t matter how experienced a person is, the problem starts with the fact that “technically single” does not make any sense. You are either in a relationship or you are not. There is no in between.
Some people said technically single could mean that you are seriously dating, so you are exclusive to each other, half way in a relationship but none of you mentioned the “relationship” word yet. Basically you are still single but also in a relationship… does not make any sense. Decide. Are you seriously want to be in a relationship and be called girlfriend? Or you would rather keep it low and keep your single life and only date with that one person, no one else and tell everyone that you are “technically single” ?
There is no exclusivity in this. If you like someone be straight and tell how you feel without silly love games. A guy might be simple, but he can go crazy of texts with hidden meanings and if you confuse him… maaaan, a girl will be the one who overthinks everything anyway… Easy, simple, straight honesty is well appreciated and if the guy has no idea how to answer, then move on Ladies because ain’t nobody have time for a boy, who is never ready and has no idea what to do. If he wants you he will say yes, or if you won the jackpot, he will ask before you even think of it.
Honesty is a good thing and confidence is sexy and it makes things simple so you won’t end up saying things like “technically single” or “I didn’t want to be exclusive with him.” What the f*ck does this even mean? A relationship is about two people who like each other and accept each other the way they are. And if you feel like that with someone why do you waste your time on love games and texts and Snapchats just to get his attention, instead of telling him how you feel? If he feels the same he’ll be more encouraged to say it, if he doesn’t then get rid of him before you fall for him, otherwise you’re going to end up heartbroken. Sad but true. Life’s gotta go on.
Some people say love hurts. It does but it’s not the end of the world. There are 7 billion people living on ONE planet. And we have never even thought of the inhabitants of other planets… You can go on a date with one, two or three people at the same time. It’s all your own business, let people gossip about you if they don’t agree, it only means you’re living life differently than they do, you give more options to yourself but don’t be silly and don’t let them fall for you if you know exactly what you want… that would be cruel and you are going to be the one who will be blamed and judged.
Also if you date more than one, just remember what you told to which one otherwise you’ll screw it up but if you know which one is the jackpot after one date, don’t waste each other’s time. Take it the way you want, but we think it’s that simple. If you know you want someone, tell the person. Make your own life easier, there is no “I don’t know”. It’s so out of fashion… it’s your decision whether you like it or not.
I won’t judge people who date with more people at the same time, or who are in a relationship but still talk to others and look for “fun”. I would not do it but I would not judge it either. It’s everyone’s own business, but for me the most important in all these things is how it makes me feel. If I’m happy with the situation, I am happy and thank you I don’t wish to change it until I want to change it. If I want to change anything, I will communicate. Communication is key, and so many people forget that too.
I’m not an expert, I won’t judge, I won’t care what others do but I have ears and I wrote down every interesting and helpful advice on this. Now I will just sit and wait for what others say…